


You'll be the death of me

by Akiko_kitsune



Category: Gintama
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Musical Instruments, Teacher-Student Relationship, Underage Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 10:49:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17865842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_kitsune/pseuds/Akiko_kitsune
Summary: Fighting wasn't the only thing Takasugi learnt while being Yoshida Shouyou's student.





	You'll be the death of me

**Author's Note:**

> It's a remake of my really old fic. It's from these dark times when shipping ShouTaka seemed so depressing that after all that pain I often added Kamui in present time to help Takasugi cope with all that grief. And that's basically the theme of this fic. 
> 
> Also, I wrote it seven years ago, so don't judge me too harsh.

“Come in,” Shouyou said with a smile noticing his favourite student watching him while standing in the doorway.

Takasugi entered the room and sat next to him. 

“I bought a shamisen,” Shouyou pulled the instrument that was laying next to him. “Do you want to hear me play it?”

It wasn’t the real reason why Takasugi came here. But it wasn’t bad either, so he nodded.

“Let’s see if I still remember anything.” Shouyou changed his position, pushed his shoulders back to maintain good posture. He pulled some strings as like he wanted to check if they would bring out any sound. They did. Shamisen always had that sharp sound which Takasugi wasn’t a fan of.

Shouyou’s fingers moved skillfully bringing out a melody.

And it was like someone put a spell on Takasugi. Like everything around stopped existing. But how else could it be when he was alone with Shouyou?

The melody he played didn’t remind Takasugi of any he had heard before. The ones he knew were mostly combinations of fast sharp noises. It was impressing and needed a skilfull person to do it, but it wasn’t pleasant to listen to.

Shouyou’s melody was somehow different, even though he was using the same instrument. He was able to pull out of it some softer tunes. Also, he didn’t try to impress anyone with the speed he could play. That made the melody more nostalgic and beautiful. So much that when it ended, Takasugi was still under its charm.

“So,” Shouyou said giving the instrument to him. “Let’s start from the basics.”

“What... I…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll teach you.” Shouyou sat behind him. He took Takasugi’s hands and guided them to the right places. Without letting them go, he moved them to play a few sounds. “See? It isn’t as hard as it may seem.”

Shouyou smiled and Takasugi fell for it completely. Into let him teach him that, even if he didn’t ever think about learning it. From time to time Shouyou explained something. He let Takasugi do something on his own. But no matter how good teacher he was, his student couldn’t focus at all. Being close like that made his mind wander away from possible learning.

“Hm? Did something happen, Shinsuke?” Shouyou asked tenderly seeing that his student sat with his head lowered.

Takasugi didn’t reply.

“We can postpone this lesson a little bit,” he said and put the instrument down. He rested his head on Takasugi’s shoulder. “Is something wrong?”

“No… Everything’s alright.” Takasugi turned to him and kissed him. He couldn’t help it anymore. He felt Shouyou laughing. It made him deepen the kiss and push him down. They fell to the floor. And when Takasugi moved back a bit to catch some air, there was nothing to stop Shouyou from laughing.

Takasugi blushed and looked aside. He knew it was all stupid and childish from his side, but…

Shouyou stroked his reddened cheek. “You’re so beautiful.”

Takasugi returned his gaze to him. He could never avoid him for long no matter how embarrassed he was making him sometimes. How could he keep his eyes away from him?

“I love you.”

Shouyou smiled sadly. As always when he heard it. Like his first thought in moments like this was _I don’t deserve it_. Why? Takasugi was willing to give him anything to make him happy. Why was that making Shouyou seem sad?

It also took time for Shouyou to get rid of that thought and answer: “I love you too.”

“I hope so,” Takasugi was saying teasingly each time when it happened.

Shouyou laughed at it and said: “You’ll be the death of me.” And then they let themselves drown in the kisses which with years grow less and less innocent.

 

* * *

 

Takasugi pulled the sting of the shamisen. He learnt how to play. He became really good at it. Though, there was no one who could listen to it. 

He got used to the loneliness. To the lack of any closeness. To the lack of Shouyou’s smile. To the lack of that faster heartbeat whenever he was near, whenever they touched...

With years you can learn anything. Even how to stop noticing this void where your heart should be. You can learn anything...

Takasugi tugged the strings. He hissed unsatisfied by the false note that escaped under his fingers.

There was a time when he couldn’t play shamisen at all. Right after the war. When all hope was lost. When there was nothing left. He couldn’t stand the sound of it. It became too painful. So he pushed the instrument away.

When all these emotions dulled, when he could only feel some emptiness where his heart used to be, he picked up playing again. Maybe he had lost all his tears at this point. Or maybe he lost something more important - his heart. But who cared about it?

Takasugi continued the melody. His fingers knew it so well, he could let his mind wander. He recalled one old thought he used to repeat himself so many times:

_Sensei hasn’t come back yet…_

When did he start thinking like that? It sounded so childish, it had to be when he was still a student at Shouka Sonjuku. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when it started. It had to be before they started being together too or somewhere at the beginning of their relationship. He could recall how he thought it while lying in the dark at Shouyou’s futon, waiting for him to come back.

The same thought accompanied him during the war when he was hurt or broken down by responsibilities that were impossible for someone at his age to handle. He wanted to curl up and wait until Shouyou came back to him. Until he coaxed him with his sweet voice and even sweeter words. Until he kissed off all the troubles of his head and his shoulders. Until he touched his body so it could forget all the struggles and pain it was put through. But that was happening only in his dreams. Dreams that were pushed away by all the nightmares that couldn’t lose their grip on him even when he was asleep.

Yet, until that fatal day, he was always hoping that Shouyou would come back to him and everything would be alright.

How pathetic it was...

He played another accord. And this one thought resonated with the sound.

_Sensei hasn’t come back yet…_

...and he would never return.

 

* * *

 

“Shinsuke!” he heard Kamui calling for him and soon the redhead let himself into the room without knocking. 

“What now?” Takasugi asked unimpressed. There was always something. And it was always annoyingly unimportant.

“I heard you playing,” Kamui sat by him smiling. “It was nice… Maybe... You’ll teach me how to do it?” Even if he said something like that he wasn’t going to wait at Takasugi’s reaction. He took the instrument from him and tried himself. He gave up after a few false notes.

Takasugi smiled slightly. “You’re doing it wrong, come on.” He pulled him close. He took his hands and put them back it the right places. He guided his hand so the sound they made could only be the most perfect clear note. “See? It isn’t that difficult.”

“With a help of a good teacher…” he hummed and moved closer to steal a kiss from Takasugi’s lips.

Of course. What could be the other reason that redhead would like to know anything?

But Takasugi didn’t mind it actually.

“You’ll be the death of me,” he sighed and drowned in kisses that seemed to warm up something he thought was long gone. His heart.


End file.
